我往國內的名山大川跑，想找回自己失落的一點。其實要找什麽自己也不知道。失落是對現代都市文明的一些不快、對歷史失落的一些迷惘或是對自己的不滿? (因中文水平低仍是我的遺憾！) 每天報章及電子傳媒送來的都是不快事。爭戰、強權、嫉殺，如血崩破堤一樣。電子網絡世界如洪流把人那僅餘的空間都搶奪霸佔過來。文字和文化變得使人措手不及、招架不住。
Mumbling mumble…Evelyna Liang
I visit the Mainland China frequently, sometimes for work, sometimes owe to the indescribable homesickness of a drifter. I have ambivalent feelings towards the drastic changes in China over the past 20 years. I am proud to see the country grows stronger. I am also sad to see the rampant corruption that sprawls in the booming economy. It is heartbreaking, as kids in rural mountain villages are devoid of campuses, chairs or notebooks; as deprived communities are being exploited; as market economic theories makes us even more capitalistic than Western countries; as $$ transforms into traditional knowledge of modern times.
Leaving my footprints in mountains and rivers of the Mainland, I wish to rediscover what I have lost. I am actually uncertain about what I am searching for. Why miserable? Is it despair against the civilization of modern cities, confusion in face of the fading history, or, dissatisfaction towards myself because my poor Chinese is still my regret?
Every day, in newspapers and electronic media, news about war, power politics or brutal killings bombard us. The digital world hijacks our meager private space, and words and cultures gradually overwhelm and overthrow us. I attempt to retreat to the world of art in search of the utopia and purity of water and ink.
I return to Huang Kung-wang’s ‘The Fuchunshan Scenery’ scroll. I unrolled it and held my brush. I try to erase my melancholy towards the modern age through copying. Everyday, the act of painting consoles my sadness and alleviate my earthly worries. The scroll becomes longer and longer. I coloured the mountains and rivers with light colours – green, cyan, raddle, yellow. I dreamt of a peaceful landscape. The reality is, times change, landscape changes too
High-rise buildings stand tall beside the river of Fuchunshan. The paddy terraces become golf clubs. Added to the scenery are damns and Thousand Islands Lake. Mountains were exploded to build houses and highways…Finally, my ‘Beautiful Landscape’ transforms, with cement, industrial dyes, bleaches, synthetic rubber, detergent, plastic tress, plastic cartoon figures. This is the modern version of ‘landscape’ I dedicate to the modern people. After a series of rubbing, bleaching and colouring, the ‘beautiful landscape’ collapsed and was torn into pieces. The bleach turned the scroll pale and even irritating to our senses. The landscape is crying.